"Mass mentality"
Craig Thompson's Blankets, pg 106-107
I attended the Global Day of Prayer held at Kallang and as much as it was an especial mark for Pentecost Sunday, the event felt more like National Day Parade For Christians. Of course I'm overtly cynical about celebrations, as much as I love them - but why did I find Reverend Kong's "Clap for God! Louder!" as pathetically crowd-drumming as Dreamgirls' Jimmy Early/Eddie Murphy dropping his pants on stage? I think people find it easy to experience religious ecstasy through music, so it's a cop-out way of feeling good about yourself, your participation in becoming one with the crowd. So City-Harvest-man was, logically speaking, taking the cheap route.
As much as I emphasize the inherent selfishness of Craig Thompson's argument, which I always felt was the reason for his collapse of faith, his disillusion about the disparity between himself and Christian peers is very real. Perhaps he felt the falsity of being bound to others he couldn't love in those moments. But I would argue that clamming up is to assume superior understanding and status as 'the coolest person in the room'.
"Coolness might help in your negotiation with people through the world, maybe, but it is impossible to meet God with sunglasses on. It is impossible to meet God without abandon, without exposing yourself, being raw. That's the connection with great music and great art, and that is why it's uncomfortable, that is why cool is the enemy of it, because that's the other reason you wanted to join a band: you wanted to do the cool thing."
To be unashamed of the Gospel is to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to get along with everyone. If you are vulnerable you cannot be cool. Sometimes... more than anything else... cool feels like the most important thing in the world. But you're supposed to be something else... always something else. And it won't be a parade either, it might be just one person clapping. But what do you need besides God's applause? # posted by s. ning @ 9:36 AM
When you said tulips I knew that you're mine
Politically incorrect quote of the week:
"They tell me, and anyway it is probably half-true, that homosexuals are creative writers, dancers, et cetera. If we want creative people, then we've got to put up with their idiosyncrasies so long as they don't infect the heartland."
- Lee Kuan Yew
# posted by s. ning @ 11:33 AM
Thanks to Hannah and Jon for the stunningly framed photos and Lily for starring (I'm sure you won't mind...)
Considering all the pictures, graduation looked like a perfect day and gathering of my friends' families or "still point[s] in a turning world" - what could be more fit for celebration? I suddenly feel excited about being part of a university with very old-fashioned, sentimental traditions.
Interning at MCYS has been a bit of a dream so far: faces from every phase of my early school life pop out of the woodwork unexpectedly, there's nothing insultingly menial about the work and nothing is spoonfed, it's a relaxed environment, I'm encouraged to ask stupid questions and there's the wonderful recognition that these are people who struggle with balancing the practical and altruistic on a regular basis. Right now I'm helping to give personal input on and plan trip itineraries to Hong Kong and New York to examine their climate for social enterprises and volunteer organizations. Which just about sums up everything I'm interested in. Okay, that's starry-eyed, early, job-love exaggeration.
And now that there's a large likelihood I'm going to do more travel in Asia in August, the summer is shaping up well, very well.
# posted by s. ning @ 11:53 PM
I realise that I'm never going to get along with other Wong Kar Wai fans, mainly because I love 2046 and hate Chungking Express. How many fucking times do you need to hear "California Dreaming"? At the same time, how many times do you need to hear the story about whispering your secrets into a hole in a tree?
After flipping out reading a comment about 2046 being "rather horrid", I don't think it's anything much more than the fact that I cannot stand usage of the word "horrid" when "horrible" or "sucky" would be thrice as excellent in its place. Everyone has word-peeves. My sister hates when I use "ish". And I had a problem with "anyways" until it occurred to me that everyone and their mother used it, including TAs. Then it became sort of cute. At least I'm not using it yet.
# posted by s. ning @ 8:01 PM
True story - at 3am this morning I went outside to dump my trash and there was a boy squatting in the circle outside Gwathmey, writing in the sand. As I slipped past, I heard my name. It was a terrifying moment, until I realised it was Brian. He had earlier made a bonfire out of the pizza boxes he'd been using to construct models for architecture class and was writing a message with the ashes. I'm a little worried about him.
I've never been an affectionate person (which is entirely different from being a sentimental person) and maybe that's why I initiate hugs with such clinical deliberation; one sign of affirmation, or love-language like we were talking about at Josh's birthday dinner. I also wish these things could be spontaneous, not an essential farewell trigger. But they can't be because if you hug only person A you often leave person B standing there awkwardly.
I generally prefer being hug-initiator rather than hug-receiver, because it involves meaningfully stepping into someone's personal space. And that isn't always easy. A physical extension of one moment.
I also don't like having to hug someone I don't actually want to experience this physical extension with. Again, essential. You can't exactly reject a social-hug, can you?
Can't wait for tomorrow; since I'm getting a ride from William to NoVa I can stay over at Winnie's for the night.
Because I'm scared I keep telling myself to think about the summer as creating a new space and already amazing, because it is
1. Self-attained-internship Summer
2. Potter Summer
3. Letter-and-email Summer (one snail-mail promise!)
4. Anjie-visits Summer
5. Language-immersion Summer. I am looking forward to taking Spanish next semester because I know it will make me very uncomfortable. Consequently, I think on how terrible I am at languages, probably because I have an attention-span the size of a sesame seed and don't like not being able to verbally express myself clearly. So, it'll be a rule to speak as much Mandarin as possible to get used to feeling lingually unstable.
I most look forward to the plane ride, 20 hours of doing only what I want albeit in a limited space, and what I want now is - blessed, uninterrupted sleep.
# posted by s. ning @ 3:40 PM
Pillows, Powerpoints, pizza, what we spent weeks preparing for - worth it.
My life as of now:
# posted by s. ning @ 1:17 AM
